Saturday, August 24, 2013

Marathi mulicha boyfriend cha jankar salla baki mulan karta ;)


A guy's advice to all the committed guys out there..:P
It was so much fun writing from a guy's perspective.. Gals take a minute and laugh at yourselves :)


मोजून  मापून शब्द  वापरा  अगदी  बोलला  नाहीत  तरी  चालेल ,
काय  आहे ,त्या  शब्दांच  बाण  करून  तुमच्यावरच  वापरेल .

ती  "SHERLOCK",कर  फोन  LOCK,नाहीतर  मरायचा!
तुझ्या  "Chat history" नी "चाट"  होऊन  तू  तिचीच  history व्हायचा .

आधीच  त्यांना  कळवा जर  chat करायला  जमत  नसेल ,
नाहीतर  पत्रिका  जुळवतात  तसा  तुमचा  "last seen" मैत्रीनिन्चाशी   जुळवून  चांगली  कथा  बांधली   असेल .

"हे  कानातला  मी  कधी  घातला  होत सांग?" नवीनच  तर  आहे  अस वाटते  अनेक   वेळा ,
"ज्या  दिवशी  तू  खूप  सुंदर  दिसत  होती  तेव्हा "असं काहीतरी  म्हणून  "safe" खेळा.

मैत्रिणीचा  "bf" काय  काय  करतो  तीचासाठी  हे  सांगेल ,एखादा  त्यात  फसावा,
तुम्चाकाधून  काय  अपेक्षा  आहेत  हे  सांगण्याचा  तो  मार्ग ,बहुदा  मुलगा  अस्तित्वात ही   नसावा !

प्रश्न  विचारायचा  त्यांचा  हक्क ,उत्तर  देणं आपले  कर्तव्य !
मोठ्या  धैर्याने  सामोरे  जा ,टाळले  तर  प्रकरण  होते  भव्य !

एका  वाक्यात  उत्तर   न्हवे  त्यांना  संदर्भसाहित  स्पष्टीकरण  हवे !
आपण  एखादा  प्रश्न  विचारला  तर  आपण  सौन्षयी ,आपला  त्यांचावर  मुळीच  विश्वास  न्हवे  !

आणि  "X-factor" असेल  तर  जरा जपूनच  तुम्ही  रहावा ,
घाबरून  असते  तुमचा  "soft corner" वर  "तिचा " header नी  चुकून  goal न  व्हावा !

अशी  कोणतीच  गोष्ट  नाही  ज्यावर  आईचं आणि  तिचं पट्ट,
उगाच  तिला  खुश  करायला  जाताना  विसरू  नका  तुमचं पोट  कोण  भरत !

Romantic movies मधे हसू  नका ,तिचा पुस्तकांविषयी  तुमची  मत तुम्चाकडेच  ठेवा ,
समजून  घ्या  तुमच्या  भांडणाबद्दल  तिच्या  मैत्रिणींना  कळलंय  ते  तुम्हाला   "look" देऊन  जातात  जेव्हा 

चुकून  तुम्ही काही  बोललात  तर  पूर्ण  महिला  मंडळ  भांडायला  अंगावर  येई ,
आणि  तुम्ही  एका  मित्राला  सांगितला  कि  "breach of conduct" म्हटलं जाई !

कोणाचीही  चूक  असली ,कोणीही  सुरु  केली  असतील  भांडणे ,
सगळा  ego बाजूला  ठेवा ,काम  आपलच  आहे   sorry म्हणणे  !

कितीही  अशक्य  कधी  वाटले  तरी  मुलं सहन  करत   राही ,
कारण  तिचा  बरोबर  राहणे  तिचा  शिवाय  राहण्यापेक्षा  कधीच  अवघड  नाही  !

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Apology by Lord Voldemort


Wizards witches and muggles of the world,
As I sit here with the fires of hell raging around me,I have something to say to you.
  AVADA KEDAVRA ~
Just kidding..(makes weird hissing sound that passes as laughter)
You see,here in hell I have had some time to think,a LOT of time actually as unfortunately my usual pastimes of murdering and torturing people have been temporarily put on hold due to the fact that I have been killed by none other than the 'Boy who lived' *sighs* Expelliarmus Harry Potter?Honestly?Well,if it wasn't for that "elder"…*takes a deep breath from his um mouth and exhales from his um mouth"…
Never Mind that now.I have done a lot of soul searching with whatever was left of it anyway after I horrifically divided it into 7 parts but anyways,I have come to the conclusion that I have been completely totally irrevocably wrong..
It is a different matter altogether that it took a war,the death of thousands of innocent people and ultimately my own death to come to this conclusion but well I am um..SOR.tof…SORely..SORrowfully..SOR..oh cmon i was and am SORdid and *gathers courage to utter the unthinkable" SORRY
*shrugs* This was probably not the best way to go about this..He who must not be named just said "the what must not be said"(page 777 Death Eaters guide to devastation,destruction,devilry)The dark mark still remains,a living proof of my past(.It was so much better than the kid's..it moved !!)
I can see your gaping mouths and hear your hushed whispers.cmon these ears are made for parseltongue.yes,I the Dark lord m really apologising for..um..well theres quite a list.
You see I really and truly regret what i have done..i was hungry and full of greed.Not for money you (K) nuts,but for power.I have always maintained that there is no good or evil.There is only power and those too weak to seek it.
But see,this is where i went wrong.In my quest for power I became a different person (apparently there is something called a nose,well who nose?"
There is something far greater than power and that is LOVE.somewhere Dumbledore is smiling.I underestimated the power of this one emotion and that led to my downfall..And of course the fact that I was an arrogant,power-hungry psychopath didn't help.I was an orphan and I had a difficult childhood.I could control people at will( so creepy)led to my bigheadedness.If i knew Dumby was going to turn my past into some weekly entertainment show i would have probably behaved.*sigh* Right from childhood I knew I was special and that I was destined to be great and once I realised that there was no looking back.I considered myself to be well above others that this clouded over any little sense there was and i fell prey to my own inflated ego.But then just like the prophecy little harry potter came into my world and burst my bubble.
note to self :Do not underestimate whiney babies.
His life was a symbol of love,his mother's love and her sacrifice to keep him alive..(so there is mother's "love" and "love" between friends and Dumbledore's um different "love"..but its all still "love"..M still kinda new to this)
As I was too busy murdering people I didn't really stop and think about these things.I had skill on my side and he had the power of love and that outweighed the former.Sometimes I feel like weeping but then a weeping Voldemort would be scarier than a ruthless one.I wish I could go back in time and change what I did but then you can't find time turners just when you need them.So now i am repenting.But you have to give this to me,If there was no Voldemort then there would have been no Harry Potter.There would be no "boy who lived" the symbol of hope and courage and all the other good things I am currently unfamiliar with.Every hero needs a villain to make him one..every story needs a bad guy and I was more than happy to be that person.But i pray to you now to forgive me now and I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart(whether I have one or not is debatable) .I hope for your forgiveness ,of course the fact that my free use of unforgivable curses might somehow work against me.but then again I am Voldemort,what do I know about normal people?

NIdhi and Neha Javalagi :)

Philosophy of life as explained by "Temple Run"


So a mother of a small kid is worried about hers son's temple run addiction..and needs answers to some questions..and who better to ask then Mr Temple Run himself.?
The philosophy of life explained by TempleRun -
Mom: ekdacha mulga temple run cha naad sodel yachi vaat amhi pahatoy,
        amhi temple run cha ani Dev amcha anta pahatoy.
        Mulga makdanpasun kami ani ayushyapasun jasta paltoy,
       kadhi vijay nahi milnar asha khelashi abhyas varanvar hartoy!

TempleRun: Chatkan uttar detil mula "MILLION" madhe kiti shunya tar vichara,
                ulat lahanpanich ayushyache "funde" gharbaslya detoy me bichara!
                ayushat adthale yenarch mulanno,bagetle bagadne naste
                halli mitracha pudhe jayche aste,jhinkayche konala aste ?

Mom: svatahache sodun mulanni tumhi dilele "OBJECTIVES" ka purna karayche?
         sagle "CHARACTERS" sarkhech sale tar evdhe  paise ka mojayche?
        "GUY DANGEROUS" cha jeev khadyat ki mazha bhandyat padto,
       pan"RUN AGAIN" cha dishene haath gela ki mazha kapalavar adalto!

TempleRun: "Fast-paced competitive" ayushasathi me mulanna tayar karto,
                 bahuda mulga aplya aai-vadilanchech "OBJECTIVES" purna karat asto!
                 aani characters cha mhanta tar tyacha magchi seekh sangto,
                 kon kuthun alay tya peksha me tyancha pravas mahatvacha maanto!

Mom: itka door aslela toh makad achanak kuthun yeto?
       "IDOL" palvun nhenyacha uddyesh asel tar mag apan paise ka gheto?
      kashta ani shramala kontahi paryay nahi ashi shikvan mulanna deto,
     aani ithe toh mintamintala "COIN MAGNET"aani "BOOST" gheto!

TempleRun:aapli ek chuk bante aplya shatrucha aplyparyantacha setu,
              vatet paise disle ki visrayla hote aplya ayushacha hetu.
              mag kadhi changlya nasheebane konala ayushachya suruvateela "MEGABOOST" milto,
              pan "dheer"(aani garam mobile :P) dharla tar mulga tevdha laamb sahaz pochu shakto!

Mom: te khadde ti aag ayushatle adthale tumhi mhanta,
        mag tyancha varun tar jhep ghyavi,"khalcha" marg ka deta?
        ekdacha shevat karun taak kar amahala mukta,
        shevti ahe tari kay?,kelas saglyanna utsukta!

TempleRun : akashi jhep ghyayla havi,pan doke havet nasave
                 kahi sankatancha saamna karayla doke jhuklele asave!
                sheuti kay?ya prashnat saglyanchatla husharhi phasto,
               sheuti fakta janeev aste ki mukkamapeksha pravasch mhatavacha asto.

Would love to get some feedback :)